Wednesday 26 February 2014

Ton Tons Black & White Macoutes!!



0-1 v Arsenal, 0-2 v citeh, 0-3 v Mackems; I was only being half serious when I confidently predicted 0-4 v Spurs the other week. Sometimes I hate being right; this was one of them. I wasn’t just right about the score but, seeing his atrocious performance that night, but my regular comments about the awful all-round game of Tim Krul were shown to be accurate as well. Responsible for 3 of the goals, his errors were thrown into sharp relief by Fraser Forster breaking the all-time record for clean sheets in Scotch football. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that Newcastle United made the wrong decision about which keeper to keep and which to sell.

Still, one positive for me was that I wasn’t at the Spurs debacle, on account of needing to work. If I had been able to go, I could have taken my pick from about a dozen free tickets I was offered by text, by Twitter, by email and via Facebook. Watching the last 30 minutes on a live feed, it appeared that the crowd was still well above 40,000 though nowhere near the claimed 48,000. Well done to all the Free Ticket Mags who declined to put money in Ashley’s pocket by buying tickets from the club.

The reason for the gaps in the crowd is no mystery; the toxic disaster that is Ashley’s ownership of the club is continuing to destroy the collective esprit de corps of the NUFC support. Pardew’s smug stupidity and tactical incompetence, welded to an unfeeling, asset stripping regime, has imbued a sense of either despair or indifference in almost every sentient Newcastle fan, where “habit” or “the chance of a few pints with the lads” are about the only reasons offered by lifelong match going Mags for their continued attendance at SJP, not to mention the utterly baffling situation whereby seemingly sane and rational people stump up the thick end of £200 for away games. While it is palpable nonsense to claim we’ve got anything other than a decent top 8 squad, even if all bets are off for next season, the whole ambience surrounding the club is at its lowest ebb since the death agonies of the Jim Smith regime in 1990/1991. Apathy is the key word. Why else could FTM and SAFC graffiti remain unchecked on a billboard on Grey Street in North Shields for upwards of a fortnight? Yes, that’s right; unblemished Mackem graffiti in North Shields. You couldn’t make this sort of stuff up.

The players’ reward for the Spurs performance was the free weekend occasioned by the FA Cup fifth round; obviously Newcastle United don’t do cup football.  Consequently, the gap in fixtures allowed the support to brood on the situation and, being frank, optimism was in distinctly short supply. The postponement of Heaton Stan’s home game against Chester Le Street allowed me the honour of attending the latest NUFC Fans United meeting on Tuesday 18th February at the Irish Club. As Karl Marx so sagely pointed out; "it is not the consciousness of men that determines their being, but, on the contrary, their social being that determines their consciousness." This is why the attendance was triple the previous one, which I found to be greatly encouraging.

It was also particularly encouraging to see that so many Fans’ Forum representatives were in attendance; having been relentlessly denigrated by True Faith, these fine, upstanding ordinary fans clearly see that NUFC Fans United remain the best way of holding meaningful dialogue with fans, especially with the unwelcome news that Lee Marshall screens all emails sent to Fans’ Forum members, though this questionable practise may change in the foreseeable future. It has to, if a spirit of transparent honesty is to be maintained; at the present time, the Fans’ Forum and NUFC Fans United are the only practical ways in which ordinary day to day dialogue between fans and the club can be conducted. Whatever we think of the club hierarchy, the fact remains there will continue to be ordinary matters of housekeeping that need to be attended to on a daily basis. The present mechanism offers a way for this to happen and I would question the motives of anyone seeking to destroy such lines of communication.

The evening began with an account from the coaches of Newcastle United Women’s Football Club of their financial difficulties and the lack of support they’d had from the club. As a lover of the amateur game, I found this to be an appalling state of affairs, but so did Supporters’ Liaison Officer Lee Marshall, who seemed genuinely disturbed by what he heard. I don’t know if he can make a difference in the future, but if his concern had a monetary value, NUWFC will be on a sounder footing in the future.

Next up a representative from that dynastic haven for resting Trotskyists, the Football Supporters’ Federation, a Mackem called Michael Brunskill whose mother is a sometime comrade of the absent FSF ruler Kevin “Air” Miles, who was unavoidably detained sipping Caipirinhas on the Copocabana, turned up to provide a hagiographic oration as to the unending perfection of True Faith magazine. Perhaps young Michael ought to have checked his audience before opening his big gob, as in attendance were several members of the Newcastle United Fans’ Forum, who have been on the end of unending on-line obloquy from that publication of late, much to their chagrin it has to be said. Indeed, with 2 possible exceptions of those present in that room, it would have to be said that True Faith’s stance has had the effect of alienating many of Newcastle United’s most loyal supporters. However, parking that thought for the moment, Kim Jong-Brunskill did make the excellent point that the Football Supporters Federation is free to join and doing so in no way endorses their partnership with bookmakers William Hill, who sponsored their awards last year, where Stand AMF, for whom I write, won the Fanzine of the Year award. Go to http://www.fsf.org.uk/join/ and give some of the Shachmanite soccerphiles some of their entrist medicine.



Talking of entrism, the day before the NUFC Fans United meeting, NUST had announced the results of their elections. It had been my stated intention to stand in this process but, as many of you are aware, the on-going situation with my mother’s ill health (she has been in North Tyneside General Hospital for over a month now with delirium associated with vascular dementia and, as yet, we have no indication of when she will be allowed home and what her future home life will consist of) means that I have neither the time nor the energy to devote sufficient attention to saving both my club and the reputation of NUST among the wider supporter base, as well as the current membership of approximately 771. Consequently, the election was uncontested; Peter Fanning, the person whose name was put to the appalling breach of protocol that saw NUST excluded from the Fans Forum by posting the minutes of that initial meeting before the club did, and Colin Whittle were re-elected. As yet I’m unaware of which 3 of the previous board have stood down, but they have been replaced by Mike Ashley Out Campaign leader Graeme Cansdale, NUFC Daily Blog author Ciaran Donaghy and Michael Martin, editor of the Baltic Publications magazine True Faith.

Considering the fraught nature of NUFC fan politics, it was wonderful to see two of the newly elected NUST board members Graeme and Ciaran at the NUFC Fans United meeting. From chats with both of them, I can happily state they are lifelong Mags and are the kind of quiet, sincere grafters NUST needs on its board if they are going to keep the promise made at their AGM and attempt to engage meaningfully with ordinary members of the Trust. Sadly, because of NUST’s conduct after the first Fans’ Forum meeting, they have proved themselves to be currently unfit for the purpose of representing ordinary non NUST members among the support, because of their intransigence in refusing to apologise for their breach of protocol in posting the minutes of the first meeting before the agreed embargo had expired. As an ordinary member of NUST’s rank and file, I remain appalled by this error, either of tactics or judgement, and feel that until such time as NUST gets its act together, then NUFC Fans United will remain the only legitimate voice of NUFC’s supporter base; out ballot box outgunning NUST’s decommissioned Armalite, as it were.However, I do still hold a residual belief in the potential of NUST to effect positive change. It was interesting to see a young intern in attendance who is doing some work for the NUST Board on supporter engagement; better late than never I suppose.

I came away from the NUFC Fans United meeting utterly energised by the positivity in the room, especially by the enthusiasm and integrity displayed by Graeme and Ciaran. I let both of them know, as an ordinary NUST member, that I feel they are charged with the responsibility of making NUST relevant among our support again. In my opinion, as an organisation, NUST has been dormant to the point of anonymity since the previous elections in 2010. I find it bitterly ironic that they have been unable to respond to the shifting tectonic plates of fan outrage during this time; last October’s Time 4 Change march offered them the perfect opportunity to reanimate themselves, but nothing happened other than the woeful mismanagement of the offer of a place at the Fans’ Forum. Now, with Graeme and Ciaran on the board, there is a chance for new blood to step up to the plate and really make a difference. However, I made it clear to both Ciaran and Graeme that as an ordinary member of NUST; I had some serious questions to ask of the Trust. While it could be argued that NUST deserve one last clean slate, lessons must be drawn from the errors of the past.

Unfortunately, as NUST has opted over the past few years only to meet with members at its AGM, it is very difficult to ask questions of the Trust in a meaningful, public way. Consequently, I posted my proposed questions on Twitter to the accounts of @nufctrust, as well as the personal accounts of @Mike_Ashley_Out, @CiaranD1892and @tfeditor1892 as I felt this was a way of opening up public discussion. I also emailed the Trust with my three questions, in the hope of eliciting a response.

I was somewhat taken aback a few days later to receive an invite to attend the next NUST board meeting on Tuesday 11th March, in order that I could ask my questions in person. Clearly, I had to decline their offer as I feel it rather undermines the promise made at their AGM that NUST will become more transparent and less distant from ordinary members, by organising public meetings which will allow NUST rank and file to interact with Board Members.  The fact is this; I am an ordinary member of NUST and do not require any special treatment from the Board, flattering though the offer was. However, I did congratulate the NUST board on their decision to become more accountable and outward facing. Certainly I look forward to being informed of the date of NUST’s next public meeting, when I can ask my questions in person. Clearly, if the promised meeting takes place, then my first question, namely what measures will the NUST board be taking to directly engage with NUST membership? will have been answered. The other questions will keep until this meeting as I believe they are in the wider interest of ordinary NUST members and NUFC fans as a whole and need to be given a public airing.

Hopefully, the meeting will include more dialogue than the eerie, resigned silence that permeated much of the opening 75 minutes of the Aston Villa game. Before the game I’d seen Graeme Cansdale distributing his Mike Ashley Out Campaign leaflets outside Shearer’s, while True Faith writer Chris Betts was inside, drinking a pint of Coors, which he described as “nothing to write home about.” Let me make it abundantly clear, I wasn’t spending my money in there; I’d nipped into Shearer’s to use the toilet and was astonished to see a collection of SV Salzburg fans, on a fact finding tour of the north east in relation to their on-going campaign for wider  fan ownership in game, occasioned by Red Bull’s destruction of their club and the need to form a new one (see http://www.austria-salzburg.at/en/history/a-bitter-end-and-a-new-beginning/ for a full explanation) supping within. As a result, I spent much of the game musing on the bitter irony of such people giving their money to Mike Ashley. Incredible isn’t it?

Attending this match with my son Ben and my Hibee mate, Graham who edits Mass Hibsteria and who is also a Newcastle fan, I had an existential crisis at half time. After 45 banal minutes of disengaged players phoning in an abject non-performance in front of tetchy, fraught, disenfranchised fans, enlivened only by Cisse’s ludicrous miss in injury time, I asked myself; what am I doing here? Honestly, it’s gone; Heaton Stannington is where my heart is. My desperate sadness is that, aged 18, Ben appears to have wearied of the whole charade.

But we must never give up; the lifting of everyone’s spirits when honest Mike Williamson cut out Benteke’s chance of giving Villa a goal woke the stadium up. Even when Remy hit the inside of the post on 88 minutes, we didn’t waver and the winner, when it came, was rapturously received, even if there was a sense of disappointment we didn’t win by 2 goals which would have entitled us all to half price Papa Doc Duvalier pizzas, as NUFC’s transfat takeaway partner of choice.


Let’s be serious though, the deafening noise when Remy scored is precisely why NUFC still matter; this is why we have to fight for our club. The solemn, silent march away from the ground proved this to me even more; the support realises that the 3 points, however welcome, are currently meaningless, whatever tedious waffle Pards relates to this game, which may well have been my third and final visit to SJP in 2013/2014.


The fact is this; where the club finishes, as well as who plays for or who manages us, while Ashley remains the owner, is utterly meaningless. We need Ashley OUT and 100% Fan Ownership IN, though 51% Fan Ownership as a transitional demand is acceptable. I would hope NUST are the organisation to energise the support towards a successful campaign for this end, but this really is their last chance to prove they have the heart to lead the fight. If they prove themselves unwilling or unable to do so, the loose amalgam of NUFC Fans United will always be there to provide fans with a voice. Comrades, seize the day.

Tuesday 18 February 2014

On The Road

It was the FA Cup fifth round last weekend. Obviously Newcastle didn't have a game and could enjoy a week earned rest after three successive hammerings in the league. One of those at Chelsea had me shaking my head and questioning just why would anyone pay £50 for a ticket and the thick end of £200 in travel and beer to watch an inevitable defeat. Many years ago I used to travel in expectation rather than hope; not just with Newcastle, but sometimes with Barnsley as well. Here's an article about being part of Barnsley's away following, which will be in West Stand Bogs issue #3.....



As pointed out in issues 1 & 2 of West Stand Bogs, not to mention about a dozen times in various copies of South Riding (RIP), my team is actually Newcastle United. However, because of marital connections in the Darton area, I followed Barnsley as a second team throughout the 1990s. My first game at Oakwell, supporting the home team, was a 2-0 victory over Bristol City, for whom Gary Shelton was red carded, on New Year’s Day 1991 and my final time on the terraces down Grove Street way saw QPR beaten 1-0 in August 2002. While I attended, at a rough estimate, about 5 games a season at Oakwell during this period, the chance to see the Reds away from home was much more limited, bearing in mind my NUFC commitments. In fact, other than at St. James’s Park, I only saw Barnsley play at 3 other grounds, none of which are in use any longer, strangely enough.

Firstly, and most painfully, were my trips to my nearest and not so dearest local rivals; sunderland. While I didn’t get to see the 2-0 loss on New Year’s Day 1992 as we were down in South Yorkshire for the festivities, taking in Sheffield Wednesday 1 Oldham 1 that day from the top tier of the Leppings Lane with the away fans of course, I was at each and every of the subsequent defeats on Wearside, stood glumly in an exposed corner of the uncovered Roker End, often with my ex-wife’s sister’s ex fiancé, who now works as a barrister in Newcastle (hello Nick,) as Barnsley came up with ever more inventive ways to get beaten by the most repulsive team on the planet.

December 5th 1992; 1-2 in front of 17,395. Floppy-haired drunk Michael Gray puts them a goal up after 42 seconds, Shaun Cunnington doubles this on the half hour and the consolation is an Ian Sampson own goal (me neither…) after 52 minutes. We had a good drink both before and after mind; The Blue Bell in Seaburn, supposedly a notorious hooligans’ pub though we saw nothing  amiss at all and then a crawl round the Quayside back in civilisation. January 3rd 1994; 0-1 in the teeming rain in front of 19,302. Phil Gray’s header was cleared off the line by Gary Fleming and his incredible tache, but the linesman said the ball had crossed. A rotten day all round. September 17th 1994; 0-2 before 16,145. A better day and a better performance, but late goals from Phil Gray and Don Goodman meant another wasted journey. October 28th 1995; 1-2 with 17,024 onlookers. Andy Liddell scored a goal, the first I’d seen on this ground by a Barnsley player, but it was only a consolation after Craig Russell and Lee Howey had notched for that lot.

After this, the Mackems were out the Barnsley equation for a while, spending a year in the top flight in 96/97 and passing Barnsley on their way back down. By the time the clubs next met, on 21st November 1998, the game was at the Stadium of Light in front of 40,231; more than double the attendance of each of the previous 5 fixtures between the clubs. Around this time, I’d developed a love of non-league football, which I watch in preference to the professional game these days. Nowadays I edit the programme for Heaton Stannington of Northern League Division 2, but back then I’d just secured a job doing match reports of local games for our regional Sunday paper, The Sunday Sun. Instead of seeing a heroic 3-2 victory with my ex-wife and ex sister in law who had accompanied Nick, where Ashley Ward went from goalscoring hero to red carded villain in 5 minutes, with the points sealed by a late Darren Barnard penalty, I was watching Ashington 0 Horden Colliery Welfare 0 in Northern League Division 2. I suppose I did get paid £20 for the privilege.

Since then, the vagaries of promotion and relegation have meant there has only been one other meeting on Wearside between the two sides; a 2-0 win for the Mackems with a crowd of 27,918 , courtesy of goals by Dean Whitehead and in the last minute by Chris Brown, but nobody was laughing. Hopefully, if Barnsley stay up and the Mackems go down, I can return to Wearside to cheer on an away win in 2014/2015.

In the same way as I managed a clean slate of losses on Wearside, my time following the Tykes on Teesside also produced a 100% record; only this time it was a positive one. In 1991/1992, Middlesbrough were promoted, gaining 80 points in the process and only losing 2 games at home along the way. Incredibly, one of those defeats was to Barnsley, on a mild Monday evening for a rearranged game in mid-April, when 12,473 gathered to languidly watch a smash and grab raid by master tactician Mel Machin. The final score was 1-0 and, try as I might, I can’t remember who scored; all that occurs to me is the relaxed, almost pre-season friendly feel to the whole evening. This was an alien experience to me, as every visit with Newcastle, whether we won, drew or lost, from 1983 onwards, resulted in scenes of incredible violence in the streets around the ground, from psychopathic locals and radgie Geordies prepared to meet them on their own terms. That night, there was nothing untoward aimed at the 101 (I counted) Barnsley fans penned in that little corner of Ayresome Park.


While there were very few at Ayrseome that night, there were 6,500 at Maine Road the following February for a FA Cup fifth round tie. Having been unable to source a ticket for Newcastle’s trip to Blackburn in the same stage of the cup the same day, Nick came to my rescue with a game and travel package, courtesy of a seat on a bus and a place on the Kippax. The transport wasn’t even Side of the Road standard; it was a Yorkshire Traction double decker and I stood both ways. The game itself was poor; City were in steady decline under Brian Horton, but a David White double did for Barnsley, while the Young Guvnors kept up a barrage of missiles across the divide between the fans all game. After the second goal went in, one exasperated Tyke, sick of being pelted with spit, plastic glasses and coins, swilled off the dregs of his plastic mug of Bovril and launched his tartan thermos flask towards the citeh hordes, in a futile gesture of retaliation. The whistle blew soon afterwards and by 7pm we were drinking steadily in The Manx. 

Wednesday 12 February 2014

They Used To Play On Grass

On Tuesday 11th February, Heaton Stannington played our first game in a month, defeating Thornaby 1-0 with a 94th minute goal by Phil Smith in atrocious conditions (see photo). In the programme, I penned this short article about the need for 4G pitches in non-league football....



Banquo: It will be rain to-night.
First Murderer: Let it come down. (Macbeth IIIiii)

It’s been wet this winter. So far we’ve seen 3 home league games called off because of our spongy, waterlogged pitch; while the Chester Le Street one is provisionally rescheduled for next Tuesday 18th February, the Alnwick Town and North Shields games are yet to be given a new date. The postponement of the Shields game was particularly galling; as Newcastle were away to Chelsea, with a certain defeat assured on the back of the previous week’s humiliation, interest in our game was massive. Not only were Shields intending to bring about 200 Ultras (they were meeting in The Corner House at noon!!), but following a twitter campaign around the hashtag #HSFCPartyConference we were looking at a crowd almost as good as the groundhop game against Birtley. Unfortunately, the game fell afoul of the elements; a soaking week was topped off by an overnight downpour in the early hours of Saturday. In all honesty, this was the most frustrating postponement I’d known since Boro infamously called off the home game against Newcastle in February 2003.

The week before when we’d been inactive following the Stokesley postponement, I’d gone to see Benfield’s 1-1 draw with Consett at The Steelmen’s state of the art 4G facility. On a filthy day, both sides were able to play slick, incisive one-touch football on the floor as the pitch was perfect, though the gale force wind also dissuaded the employment of the big boot. On Saturday I took in Benfield’s 3-2 win over Whitley Bay; it was thrilling, but the heavy, soft pitch made certain parts of the game a lottery, where excitement was provided by uneven bounce and sticky patches. It tells me that the future of the non-league game, unless a club is blessed with a superb draining pitch like Seaham Red Star or Billingham Synthonia,or an eye-watering £27,000 to invest on impermeable pitch covering, must be 4G pitches. The FA needs to act and provide money for community facilities in each area across the country, perhaps 2 per regional FA as minimum investment, to allow clubs to develop their youth set-ups, be open 7 days a week and allow football to be played on immaculate surfaces, rather than on boggy lotteries.


Instead of pampering millionaire Premiership players, let’s cascade money downwards; my Over 40s team played a game on 4G at Burnside School the other week as our pitch at Bigges Main was unplayable. The surface was true, the result a thumping 6-1 win in the real Tyne & Wear derby over Ryhope Cricket club, but the cost was a whopping £120; such expense simply is not sustainable for most teams. The choice for us is either pay outrageous charge this or face a ludicrous fixture pile up in April and May. Let’s be clear about this; the FA need to pay for facilities to improve the grassroots game by taking it off grassy bogs. It’s not as if the game isn’t awash with money after all.

Wednesday 5 February 2014

A club to be proud of?



Newcastle United; if they didn’t exist, would anyone give them credence if we made them up? In a week where the latest interminable Leeds United takeover saga reached a hitherto unimagined level of farce as they went through 4 managers in less than a day, only to end up with the same bloke back in the dugout (for now), with the added bonus of a winding up order for unpaid debts to their shirt manufacturers on the doormat,  while the cousins of King William at Tynecastle managed to stagger into the realm of positive points for the first time this season, only to follow this up by losing on penalties to 9 man Inverness Caley in the Scottish League Cup semi-final, Newcastle United still managed to trump them both in terms of on and off pitch public relations disasters.

Following a routine away win against the loathed Sam Allardyce’s West Ham, the team made the most of their non-participation in this season’s FA Cup, by flying off to Dubai for some mid-season R&R, with rumours of two imminent French midfield signings to strengthen the squad heavy in the air.  Predictably for The Magpies, the brightest hour is the one before the long dark night of the soul and the season disintegrated rapidly, spectacularly and predictably in less than a week. Firstly, club captain and most valuable player Yohan Cabaye, tired of the breathless race for 8th spot in the table,  was peddled to Paris Saint Germain when the magic figure of £20m was offered; this was of no surprise to the Magpie faithful as alleged manager / Ashley’s errand boy Alan “Pards” Pardew had admitted in a press conference he was powerless to stop the player, who must have established some kind of record by scoring the third at Upton Park with his final touch of the ball as an NUFC employee, going back home if either Cabaye or Ashley decreed this to be the case.  At what other club would an alleged manager be happy enough to put themselves up for public ridicule by explicitly announcing their utter lack of authority? Cabaye’s sale was inexplicable in playing terms, with only kneejerk apologists for the despised Ashley regime able to find any presumed reason for suggesting that it made economic sense as, following the collapse of the Remy Cabella deal and Clement Grenier ruling himself out of a move to Tyneside, the money would simply be banked by Ashley as Newcastle United remain £55m in the black on transfer dealings in the past 3 years. Sadly, that’s not even a scarcely credible statistic any longer; it’s a depressingly predictable one.

One player did come in to the squad; Dutch striker Luuk de Jong on loan (of course) from Borussia Monchoengladbach arrived, but as it appears Papiss Cisse is in the departure lounge for all points east of Moscow, that doesn’t strengthen the team one scintilla. Typically, the one striker who has looked remotely dangerous for NUFC this season, Loic Remy, received a red card and three game ban for a spot of needless pushing and shoving in a 0-0 at Norwich, that took place while business was concluded on Tyneside to ensure Cabaye left and de Jong arrived. Rather tellingly, the only pieces of transfer activity engaged in by Newcastle United during the transfer window, bar the return of Magpie legend Dan Gosling from Blackpool after his loan spell ended, occurred while the manager was over 200 miles away from the club. I wonder who made the teas and coffees, or got sent out for sandwiches and trips to the bookies in that instance.

No Cabaye, no Remy, no Coloccini (still injured) and further irrevocable proof that “Pards” has no authority at the club meant the preparations for the Mackem derby game on Saturday 1st February seemed as needlessly chaotic as ever. Having spent the previous 4 months expecting Newcastle United to routinely extract adequate revenge over the Mackems for the previous two derby defeats, it dolefully occurred to me late last week that what was actually preordained was another humiliation at the hands of our great rivals. 

On the Friday night, I predicted a 2-0 away win with Adam Johnson the difference between the sides. The basis for my belief in such an eventuality was partly an assessment of the spirit in the relative camps and partly on the quality of the respective managers; I don’t like Poyet (mind I don’t like “Pards” either), but I recognise that the Mackem boss deserves the Manager of the Year title if he keeps them up and wins the League Cup. It didn’t take a genius to work out Poyet would set his side up to easily defeat the risible double Ameobi selection and aimless hoofball tactics of the utterly discredited “Pards.” So it proved; a second successive 3-0 away win must arguably act as payback for the 4-1 with Luque scoring and 5-1 on Halloween. We’ve now gone 5 games since Ryan Taylor put it over the wall.

I hate being right about the wrong things, but if it is of any consolation, it proves the veracity of my mantra that whoever plays for or manages Newcastle United and where the team finishes in the league remains utterly irrelevant under the current regime. Calls for Michael Laudrup to replace “Pards” are painfully naïve as the appointment of another manager would be a pointless gesture that would deflect from the current imperative. The truth is this; we need Ashley OUT and 100% Fan Ownership IN, though I’m prepared to accept 51% Fan Ownership as a transitional demand.

Undoubtedly, this latest derby humiliation will mean tipping point has been reached for a sizeable proportion of the crowd and of those who remain, anyone trotting out the lame cliché that they will continue “support the team not the regime” by stumping up for season tickets that are more expensive than 19 individual match day purchases, will be increasingly, and justifiably, seen as Wonga clad Lord Haw Haws. However, in response to all those who have fired off letters cancelling their direct debits for current and future season tickets, I could point out they are 5 years too late as I walked away, with mixed feelings that endure to this day, in 2009.  Meanwhile, I’ve recently purchased tickets for the Villa home game on Sunday February 23rd, which will be only my second, and probably final, league game of the season.

Amazingly, the Monday after the Mackem debacle saw Joe Kinnear relinquish his handsomely rewarded sinecure as Director of Football at Newcastle United after 8 months in which he achieved the sum total of the square root of jack shit. Let’s not delude ourselves, he has not been sacked, left after any fall out with Ashley or on a point of principle; he leaves with knowledge the “owner” sees JFK’s risible tenure as an unqualified, rip-roaring success as, in his mythical role, Kinnear oversaw two transfer windows where Newcastle United spent not one penny on permanent signings. Kinnear effectively carried out the role of Ashley’s human shield and pantomime villain while “Pards” did exactly what he was told. Rumours include “Pards” accepting Ashley’s instruction he will only be allowed to sign French players, as Ashley wishes to grow the Sports Direct Empire in France, by confronting their home-grown cheap clobber chain La Redoute in a head on price war.

So where does this leave fans of Newcastle United? Some, whose previous attitude to Cabaye (not to mention several other French players) was scornful, contemptuous and bordering on the vindictive in my opinion, will continue to bawl like denizens of Kiev in front of the news cameras and display staged, opportunistic opposition to Ashley, which is possibly based either on their unblinking loyalty to the legendary hospitality of former chief executive Derek Llambias, or a need to develop a niche as the permanent voice of Magpie miserabilism. Perhaps a day’s work experience at Darsley Park will see them back on message; who knows? Others are calling for the establishment of a new club; a kind of FCUM based on Tyneside, which is a suggestion I find myself in clear opposition to, for a number of reasons.

Personally, I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing FCUM play; I’ve wanted to and may a promise to myself that I’d rectify this shortcoming at some point in 2013/2014, but gaps in Heaton Stannington’s fixture list have not coincided with FC United of Manchester home games at Bury’s Gigg Lane. I wouldn’t mind seeing them up here, against Blyth for instance, though I’d certainly not be supporting them against Spartans, who I regard as the historic jewel in the North East non-league crown. One day soon, I will get to see FCUM live I promise. To be perfectly frank, I don’t know enough of the non-league demographics of Manchester to comment on how their existence has impinged on clubs like Droylesden, Flixton, Maine Road or Trafford Borough, but it appears that FCUM certainly have found a niche, amassed a great and vibrant great support and managed to produce in A Fine Lung and Under the Boardwalk, two of the finest fanzines imaginable.

Unquestioningly, I like and respect FC United of Manchester, but equally certainly, I don’t see any possible scope for a similar club, perhaps called FCUN, taking shape on Tyneside for several reasons. Firstly, the size of support; Manchester United’s fanbase dwarfs almost every other English club and there simply aren’t enough of us following NUFC to make a breakaway club feasible or even sustainable beyond a Step 7 level in my opinion. Secondly, the level of organisation; FCUM’s chief executive Andy Walsh is another in the long line of charismatic, one time Shachtmanites who found a role in football administration after the Militant split. His expertise and those involved in the formation of FCUM had cut their sporting teeth when involved in IMUSA, who displayed a level of collaborative opposition to the Glazer regime, and the Edwards dynasty for decades previous, that our support can only dream of, gave FCUM a head start in the bureaucratic part of the meritocracy that is their club. Thirdly, and most importantly in my eyes, we’ve got a wonderful history of non-league football on Tyneside, with the second oldest competition in the world, the Northern League, more than adequately represented by Newcastle based clubs.  My beloved Heaton Stannington, currently 5th in Division 2 of the Northern League, are the fourth most senior club in Newcastle. I see no contradiction inherent in following Heaton Stannington, while fighting passionately to ensure the future of Newcastle United.

On Saturday 1st February, the real Tyne Wear derby saw Wallsend Winstons defeat Ryhope Cricket Club 6-1 in the quarter finals of the Billy Lorraine Cup in the North East over 40s League. Appearing as a second half substitute with us 4-1 up, I was pleased to keep a clean sheet, before taking in a game. The interminable rain of the previous few days meant Heaton Stannington’s away game against Stokesley was called off around 10.00. I had been offered a ticket for SJP, but it was completely off the agenda as far as I was concerned, as I was heading for my back up plan; Newcastle’s second most senior team, Benfield away to Consett in the Northern League first division.

Travelling by bus, I spent some time traversing town while the derby to be proud of was unfolding; Borini gave them the lead when I stepped off the 38 on John Dobson Street and I climbed aboard the 46 outside the Central Station as Johnson doubled their advantage. Town was disturbingly quiet; as it must have been during World War I, the streets were almost denuded of able bodied men between 20 and 50. The bus, other than the driver and an old punk in a too-tight Buzzcocks t-shirt, was entirely populated by women who had been or were going shopping. The Metro Centre interchange saw an exchange of consumerists, including the baffling sight of an elderly lady in a Newcastle United scarf and overcoat, clutching two bulging Sports Direct bags; during a game. Against sunderland. Some things just confuse and bemuse me beyond all reason.

As it became more obvious that Newcastle United could find no way back against Poyet’s team of quiet, sincere grafters on the pitch and would have to cede local bragging rights to the intelligent, reasonable, articulate lads showing discipline, discretion and good judgement off it, who represented sunderland, I averted my eyes from twitter updates on my phone and took in the charming, inviting scenery of the Derwent Way. I really have no idea where I was when either the third went in or NUFC legend Mobido Maiga ironically equalised on his debut for QPR.

As we climbed through Rowlands Gill and Ebchester, the day remained bright as the wind stiffened appreciably. This was the terrain to walk your Labrador; these were the delightful gastropubs to drink Prosecco with friends. The stunning views across bare fields afforded by huge, cheap houses in Hamsterley Mill; this is the middle of nowhere, but humanity endures and thrives.  People running, cycling, walking or visiting garden centres; a narrative of life that saw no relevance in events at SJP that failed to disturb the satisfaction and serenity of those enjoying a leisurely, if chilly, Saturday afternoon. Perhaps this is how it will be in the future for many more people, if Ashley remains, but such a way of life is not for me; football, and by that I mean non-league football, will be my Saturday until I die. This I know to be true. Shotley Bridge, where my maternal grandfather, a Newcastle United season ticket holder back when such people could be numbered in the hundreds, who stowed a bottle half of cold liver oil and half of whiskey in his hip pocket, to enable his consequently lubricated voice to better barrack officials and opponents, died in 1967, was the last stop before Consett, which isn’t quite as bucolic as the settlements that preceded it.


A wind with teeth and sharpened, horizontal rain accompanied my walk to Belle View, the new home of The Steelmen, for the first time. I had been to their old ground Belle Vue on several occasions; in 1996 on my debut appearance, the game was fogged off at half time with the score 1-1 versus Murton. My last visit was in May 2013, to see the final game played there, when Spennymoor beat Benfield to win the Northern League Cup 2-1. Unlike that huge, crumbling but atmospheric venue, Belle View is compact and functional but, crucially, it has a 4G pitch that meant the game was never in doubt. Frankly, this is the future for amateur teams; providing such surfaces as standard would allow clubs to be open 7 days a week, creating revenue and binding them to their local community as a wide range of other teams could use the facilities available.

Despite a ridiculous wind that gusted in such a way that balls kicked in the air came down on the same spot they were launched from, the game was undoubtedly worth making the effort to see. In front of approximately 200 well-insulated enthusiasts, both Magpies and Black Cats who discussed the Tyne Wear derby with intelligence and passion, but utterly without rancour or enmity, Consett and Benfield served up a high quality game where conditions ensured close passing on the ground was a necessity. If only “Pards” had the tactical acumen of Steve Bowey or Kenny Lindoe.

For this game, I was delighted to be in the company of Sunday Sun non-league writer Steve Brown, who gave me a lift home and former Sunday Sun football writer turned academic (and Consett U9s manager) Neil Farrington, who provided insightful and stimulating conversation throughout; despite the events that had unfolded at SJP, this was truly the only place to watch football on Saturday 1st February.

Consett took the lead when Guerin-Lokonga’s deflected effort deceived Benfield keeper Andrew Grainger in the first half, only for Paul Brayson’s smart finish to rescue a draw from an always dangerous looking Benfield. The game was a credit to the Northern League, a competition that has existed since 1889 and boasts 45 clubs in two divisions, including Benfield, Team Northumbria and Heaton Stannington in Newcastle itself, with West Allotment Celtic, North Shields,  Whitley Bay, Ashington, Bedlington Terriers and Alnwick representing the area north of the Tyne. South of the river Ryton, Whickham, Dunston, Birtley, Jarrow Roofing, Chester Le Street, Durham and South Shields serve areas of overwhelming black and white support. Below the Northern League, the Alliance boasts another 40 sides with the Tyneside Amateur, Corinthian and North Northumberland below that. We’ve not even mentioned Blyth or Gateshead yet!!

In short, with so many clubs and that much rich history to luxuriate in, there is no need or reason to form a breakaway club along the lines of FCUM; what we need to do as NUFC fans, is to fight for the soul of our own Newcastle United. This means joining together, organising and bringing pressure on the current toxic regime; Newcastle Fans United, NUST, credible fanzines such as Number 9, Kinnear’s on the Moon and Black & White Daft, together with the whole panoply of blogs, fans groups and all supporters with the best interests of the club at heart must bind together to drive Ashley OUT and bring Fan Ownership IN.

Friends, we must unite around Newcastle United and we must do this now. The next meeting of Newcastle Fans United is on Tuesday 18th February at 6.30pm in the Irish Centre. Please make every effort to attend.