Final Score

(First published in Percy Main v Wark programme 30/04/11)

Arsene Wenger; don’t you just love him? With his cheeky smile, wry sense of humour, selective myopia and pathological paranoia whenever decisions go against him, you can understand exactly why Kenny Dalglish exchanged such pleasant banter with Arsene after Liverpool’s 102^nd minute penalty equaliser at the Emirates the other week. Wenger, having seen his side meekly surrender the Carling Cup to Birmingham and tumble out of the FA Cup and Champions’ League with barely a whimper has now seen his Arsenal side show a streak of cowardice a mile wide in failing to be credible contenders for the Premier League title. Yes Arsene, it’s tough at the top.

However, it’s also tough at the bottom. The Northern Alliance Division 2 may not be the bottom rung of the football ladder, but it is an exacting place to run a team. This season, the Alliance was proud to have 17 teams in each of the 3 divisions, strength of numbers that demonstrates the beautiful game at our level in this region to be in decent health, or so we supposed. Since the campaign kicked off last August, we have seen 4 teams go by the wayside. First to disappear were Chopwell Officials Club from Division 1. We played them twice last season, shading it 2-1 at home because of a keeper error and drawing a highly competitive encounter 2-2 at their place last April. Despite this positive showing, they called it a day less than six months later. Like so many teams at this level, the management did everything from marking the pitch to washing the kit and after a while, even the most indefatigable of willing horses will rear up and throw its increasingly burdensome cart. Their geographical isolation did not help either I’d guess.

However, it is the second division where club resignations have been the most common. Firstly Amble, facing an enormous backlog of matches, a shrinking pool of players and questions over the availability of their pitch at Red Row, threw in the towel in the midst of the November and December freeze, citing the clear knowledge that they’d struggle to fulfil their fixtures as a reason to resign. They were followed by Newcastle BT, who played at the superbly appointed Willie John Sams Centre in Dudley, but simply didn’t have enough bodies to keep going, before Cullercoats Custom Planet exited stage left. Their former manager Tony Fawcett decided to go to University as a mature student (fabulous English teacher he had mind…) and stepped aside, citing work pressures; sadly there was nobody willing or able to sort out the administration and practical requirements of the team, so after a protracted series of postponements, they too withdrew. The word is that Whitley Bay Town will also disappear at the end of the season, meaning only 13 will make it through to 2011/2011, at best. Who knows which other teams will find the slog of Saturday Monday Wednesday games for 5 weeks, as well as Sunday Tuesday and Thursday for their pub sides, on pitches that are rock hard, rutted and bare of grass, too much to cope with?

Yes, is this a new phenomenon? Checking back over the last decade, it seems not to be the case. While Ryton and the Coach Lane triumvirate of Benfield, Team Northumbria and West Allotment have moved up to the Northern League, with Alnwick seemingly on their way to join them, as well as Easington who have achieved promotion via a sideways move to the Wearside League, there are many other sides who have disappeared. Up in the borders, Spittal Rovers and Highfields became Berwick United, while Winlaton Hallgarth, Bedlington Terriers A, Walker Fosse, Haydon Bridge, Newbiggin CW, Cowgate Sports, Stobhill, Otterburn, The Wincomblee, The Birds Nest, Eppleton CW, Alnmouth, Felling Willows, Prudhoe RTH, Swarland, Daisy Hill, Wallsend, Penrith United, Lowick, Sport Benfield, Jesmond, Felling Fox, Blaydon and Westerhope, have all left the league. I’ve counted 24 teams there; accepting I’ve probably missed a few, as well as ignoring the mergers apart from the Berwick United one, it’s the case that with the exceptions of Walker Fosse and Wallsend, none of these teams were forced out of the Alliance. It is simply the day to day hard slog of running a team that gets people down and caused them to leave of their own volition.

However, there are apparently six or seven sides who’ve expressed an interest in joining the Alliance for 2011/2012, which just goes to show clubs may go, but the game and the Northern Alliance go on. Thankfully.

140 Character Assassination

(First published in Percy Main v Shankhouse programme 27/04/2011)

Brevity is the soul of wit, states Polonius in Act II Scene ii of Shakespeare’s Hamlet and this phrase has been taken to heart by Geoff since he took over editorial duties on the programme, limiting me to 1 page of this nonsense each edition. When Andy was putting the thing together, he let me ramble on like Jerry Garcia during the last encore of a Grateful Dead show at the Frisco Winterland in 1971, but I’ve learned the value of keeping my missives short.

Possibly that’s why I’m enjoying using Twitter so much these days; search for me as PercyMainFC at www.twitter.com At first the only followers I had were Geoff, Norman, Laura and Cola, so everyone was either watching or playing in the match when I updated the scores, though now we’ve got plenty of followers from the on-line cyber blogging community who seem so at ease with social networking sites. Almost all Northern League clubs use Twitter to update during the game, but I think it’s only we and Chemfica from the Alliance who have accounts. It’s the future, I’m telling you. Mind Laura suggests I should restrict myself to putting only Percy Main related stuff on there, rather than listing what gigs I’m going to or giving marks out of ten for the various Real Ales I’ve been quality testing. Then again I wouldn’t be the first person involved in football to come to grief because of troublesome tweets, would I? Only this week, Kieran Bowell of Berwick Rangers was sacked for making disparaging remarks about the letter bombs Neil Lennon received.

I think I first became aware of Twitter when Darren Bent engineered his move from Spurs to the Mackems in 2009 via the 140 character microblogging format, via his DB_TheTruth account. He’s gone strangely silent since his disappearance off to Villa mind you, though there are still probably a few thousand unread messages from cyber toughies with FTM73 as part of their log-in name waiting for when Bent has his next shufty on line.

Obviously Carlton Cole has just been fined for his tasteless remarks about the Ghana fans at Wembley in the recent friendly international, while Jack Wilshere was called to the headmaster’s office at the FA for whining about a penalty Newcastle got in the 4-4 with Arsenal in February. Mind, like the teenage tearaway offspring of the problem family at the bottom of the street, how can we expect Wilshere to know better or show any respect the way his manager has brought him up?

However what has really amused me of late has been Michael Owen’s amazement at the negative reception he got at SJP last week, when a storm of boos greeted his every touch. The horse racing obsessive with all the personality of John Major on lithium used Twitter to make the following ill-judged comments: Got a poor reception off the home fans which was disappointing... Knew I would get booed as that's what a lot of fans do but if they knew the facts then they may have a different opinion... For the record, I tried my best in every game for Newcastle. Under KK I played well and I’ll never forget the 2 I scored against Sunderland…When I meet Newcastle or Liverpool fans they all respect what I've done for their clubs. In stadiums it changes, 1 boo and the rest follow… By the way, I’m not looking for sympathy. As long as my family don't boo me when I walk through the door I couldn't care less.

Now I wasn’t at the game, having turned down a freebie to see Whitley Bay 0 South Shields 0 instead, but I would have booed Owen relentlessly, remorselessly, especially as he had the audacity to SELL not give his helicopter to the North East Ambulance Service, after the millions he earned for precisely nothing in 4 years on Tyneside. While I find the idea of arrogant, deluded multi-millionaire sportsmen having on-line implosions very amusing, I have to say that Michael, you can rest easy tonight; I don’t despise you any more now you’ve left Newcastle United than when you played for them. As one Tweet said; you were a shameful disgrace in black & white and symbolise why I hate the modern game. Well said that man!

Uimh Tír d'Fhir Sean

(First published in Percy Main v Ashington Colliers programme 23/04/2011)

I’d like to apologise from the outset as this edition’s piece has very little to do with football, but I know what a highly cultured crowd we get reading the Percy Main programme, so I’m sure you’ll indulge me this once. As it’s St. George’s Day, I thought I’d take us across the sea to Ireland, for a change.

On Friday April 15^th, 623 days after his death, I helped my mother attempt the sad task of clearing out my Dad’s wardrobe. Most of the stuff went to charity shops, but, as well as a video of “The Dubliners Guide to Dublin” (She gave it to me presumably on account of the beard making me look like Ronnie Drew), Mam insisted I kept Eddy’s old Arran sweater, which he’d worn half a century ago when he sang in folk clubs and which made him look the double of Tom Clancy (the singer not the writer). As the old fella was 3 inches shorter than me and far less generous round the gut, it’ll never fit properly, but I wore it all the same as I watched Shamrock Rovers steal an undeserved point from the Fair City classico against Bohemians with a last second scramble on www.rte.ie

As I settled down to read that night, Eddy’s Arran sweater acted as my pillow, while I got acquainted with “Bullfighting,” Roddy Doyle’s fabulous new collection of short stories. It’s the first book I’ve ever read that’s made me genuinely regret growing old. While YouTube keeps me musically insulated in a cocoon of 1970s folk and folk rock (though I did escape to go and see the impossibly brilliant Trembling Bells on Monday; now there’s a band who are surely the reincarnation of Sandy Denny era Fairport Convention…), my Planxty inflated nostalgia balloon (Sé an truaigh nach mise, nach mise/ Sé an truaigh nach mise bean Pháidín /Sé an truaigh nach mise, nach mise/ S an bhean atá aige a bheith caillte**) was popped by Doyle’s unremitting exploration of the realities of the current recession from an Irish perspective.

Doyle takes us from Howth to Bray and inland to Lucan to gaze at the effects of negative equity, unemployment, ageing, illness and, ultimately, mortality on Irish men, middle class urban Dubs in particular, who are all in their late 40s to mid-50s. It was almost enough to make me forget the Setanta Cup semi-finals, but not quite; Shamrock Rovers and Dundalk will contest the final on May 14^th. After reading Bullfighting and internalising its mixture of farce, tragedy and, ultimately, loving hope, I find it a gas that a meaningless non-competition like this will be played in Belfast on a day when the entire island of Ireland will be watching the FA Cup Final from Wembley instead. Can I just say I want Stoke to win, as I’ve no time for Massive Club Citeh? Thanks.

Doyle is a Chelsea fan, so no doubt his Sunday will be made special the day after the Cup Final as the Pensioners clatter half a dozen past Pardew’s lads at Stamford Bridge. You know; if he can continue to write books as affecting as Bullfighting I don’t think I’ll care too much.

Ian Cusack

* Irish for No Country For Old Men

** It's a pity that I am not, that I am not/ It's a pity that I am not Páidín's wife/ It's a pity that I am not, that I am not/ And the woman he has is dead

Missing Inaction

(Originally posted on http://northernleagueday.wordpress.com/)

Back when Unibond strugglers Whitley Bay regarded Blyth Spartans as their rivals and not Wearside League neophytes North Shields, who were playing at Wallsend Rising Sun in those days, while Benfield were still the Corner House Sunday morning side and West Allotment used to slug it out at the top of the Alliance with the likes of Newcastle Polytechnic (Or Team Northumbria as they are now), I started watching the Northern League.

Wise sages of the amateur grassroots game on Tyneside always maintained that the Northern Alliance was the proper Geordie competition, while the Northern League, in the words of one veteran of a thousand penalty box brawls was for “Mackems, hillbillies and crackerjacks from ex pit villages.” The demographics of the Northern League have changed beyond all recognition in the past two decades, with the decimation of sides from the East Durham Coastline, the waning influence of Teesside and the almost total domination of the Newcastle and North Tyneside area clubs, in the shape of Benfield and Whitley Bay, held off only by the megabucks of Spennymoor and valiant efforts from Consett and Shildon.

The body politic of the Northern League has an intensely urban heart and only the furthest extremities of the competition have failed to be touched by Northern League Day. However, fear not; having been to every Northern League ground, I’m able to fill in a few details on the clubs who’ve not filed a guide to their ground.

Billingham Town play at Bedford Terrace and were the first club that Gary Pallister play for. As has been listed on the site already, an unseemly row that was not of their making, picked by a seemingly heartless Hartlepool United almost saw the club that has been the personal bailiwick of octogenarian Chairman Tommy Donnelly since formation as Billingham Social, go out of business. Thankfully, they’ve hung around and after seasons of perennial penury they continue to remain well above the drop zone in Division 1. Their Bedford Terrace ground has a smart stand and quality standing, as well as an excellent canteen and can be accessed most easily by alighting at Billingham Station and heading right out of the station down Cowpen Lane, before taking a winding right to the ground down Bedford Terrace itself. They host Jarrow Roofing, so would expect to win.

Second Division Gilford Park are another side to have had a tortuous time of it of late. For a variety of reasons that make the Jarndyce v Jarndyce case seem like a bairn’s spelling book, they were forced to play their first dozen league games away from their home ground. Subsequently they were forced to use Copeland Athletics Stadium in Whitehaven as a base until complex details with their lease were unravelled to make for an uneasy truce. Now they are back at the highly impressive Gilford Park ground. Home to the Carlisle rugby league side, it is accessed by turning right out of Carlisle station and walking down London Road for approximately a mile and half, before turning right down Petterill Bank Road, where the ground itself is right next door to the home of serious drinking in those parts, the Railway Club. I’ve been twice for Northern Alliance games and had a superb time on both occasions, but it seems as if their magnificent programme, compiled by Somerset gent in exile Harley Freemantle, is no longer as Harley has moved to Dundee. A shame. You should get a look at Gillford Park as they may not be around much longer. They host Darlington Railway Athletic and would be classed as strong favourites.

Northallerton Town are the furthest south of all Northern League clubs and, arguably, deserve to be in the Northern Counties East, but they’re not. They’ve been in the Northern League since the second division was founded in 1982/1983, bobbing between the two divisions on a regular basis. Their well-appointed Ainderby Road ground, including a superb programme shop, is easiest to get to by train. Come out of the station on your left, taking a left after half a mile at Mill Lane and another left to get on to Ainderby road itself. Or follow your nose, as they’re next door to a sewage farm. Dirty Yorkshire what? They’re playing the underachieving Chester Le Street side that were relegated last year and this one may go the way of the visitors.

Finally, Thornaby, who used to be known as Stockton, but have nothing to do with the original Stockton club, whose assets belong to Norton and Stockton Ancients. Got that? Their ramshackle, dilapidated Teesdale Park ground looked like a bombsite the one time I visited; I’ve no idea if it has improved, but their Celtic daft secretary Tommy is a fabulous bloke to chat on to about the game. If you’re going, take the train to Thornaby, come out of the station on your right on Mandale Road and cross over when it merges with Acklam Road, follow that for about half a mile and the ground is in a park, at the bottom of the hill, on your left. They host unpredictable Hebburn Town, so the result is a hard one to predict. Certainly I’d see it as the most intriguing of the 4 games mentioned here.

So, there you are; if you’re doing Whickham v Washington and then Ryton v Billingham Synthonia, or whether you’re doing any non-league game, enjoy it. I hope to see you in the pub tomorrow night, but more importantly, I hope to see you in a non-league ground many times in the future.

Why I will not be attending Northern League Day

( First published on http://northernleagueday.wordpress.com/2011/04/06/why-i-wont-be-at-northern-league-day/ )

I like the Hudson Brothers; they watch amateur football and they drink Real Ale. They are my kind of fellas and I take my hat off to them in respect of what they’ve done for Ryton FC and many other shoestring operations in the local area with their Northern League Day project on April 9^th. Whilst I will be in the company of the Hudson Brothers (who appear to be named after the kind of posse that would have gone searching for Billy The Kid) on the evening of Northern League Day, drinking fine hand pulled beers in a number of establishments in the Ouseburn Valley, I will not be present at either of the football matches they’ve identified as places to call in on during that day. Despite the appearance of some arcane phenomenon entitled the Socrates Bloggers, neither Whickham v Washington at 11.30, nor Ryton v Billingham Synthonia at 3pm, nor even the chance to quality test brews at The Boathouse in Wylam (named Northumberland’s best pub by CAMRA in 2010) will keep me from my preferred destination; Purvis Park, home of Percy Main Amateurs FC, where a Pin Point Recruitment Northern Alliance Premier Division game versus Carlisle City kicks off at 2.30pm.

Several times in my life, I’ve found myself as close to nirvana as a man could hope to be. Suffice to say, if I could watch Teenage Fanclub playing a greatest hits set, supported by The Wedding Present and Trembling Bells, while imbibing the Bass they sell in The Tynemouth Lodge or a 2008 Yellowtail Pinot Grigio, with Laura’s Thai Green Curry to follow up, I’d die a happy man. If those events could take place at Purvis Park after a comprehensive home win by Percy Main, I’d go to my grave in a state of ecstatic peace.

To say I love football is underplaying my hand a little. At approaching 47, I play in goal 3 times a week, still watch a minimum of 2 live games (of course I don’t have Sky or ESPN) and spend huge swathes of my waking time writing, talking and thinking about football. Only classic indie and folk music, ultra left wing politics and my loved ones get anywhere near as much head space as football does. Yet, for many years, I hated football. Or rather, I hated what Newcastle United’s version of being a football fan did to me, as I had allowed the all encompassing, grasping, and indifferent social behemoth from St James Park to render me anonymous. Thank you so much to Alan Shearer, Michael Owen and Mike Ashley for relegating the club in 2009 and freeing me from its clutches. Last Saturday the nailed wolves 4-1; the only way it impacted on my consciousness was irritation at the number of barcodes getting off the 306 and 308 on the Coast Road as I cycled back from a 3-1 reverse at Heaton Stannington. Emotional progress; yes?

Obviously, I’ve been in love with the amateur game in the local area for nigh on two decades, with Benfield my chosen Northern League side. Yet to me, the Northern League is not the chance for a bit of rough away from the Premiership pretty boys, it is a whiff of almost unimaginable glamour; £6 in, floodlights, proper seats and replica shirts. We don’t get any of those things in the Alliance. Instead there are 48 clubs in three divisions, from Alnwick to Murton and Cullercoats to Hexham, with every player, committee member and fan grafting like hell to keep teams going in the face of mounting costs, minimal receipts (other than ourselves, most sides don’t even bother to charge entry) and rapacious clubs from higher in the pyramid poaching promising players.

On a typical Saturday, I’ll arrive at Purvis Park around 1pm after playing in Over 40s league in the morning. Most of the rest of the committee have been there since noon. During the course of a match day I’ll collect gate money, serve in the canteen, take down the posts at full time, sweep the dressing rooms, help prepare the post match buffet and various other tasks, before heading home around 6pm to write up the match report. For this privilege, it costs me about £10 a week in various weekly draws and lottery schemes the club runs, so why do I do it? Because I love Percy Main Amateurs. Here is a football club that appreciates what I do for it and gives me back a million times more than I put in.

I hate Niall Quinn, but I understand what he means when he says the Mackems got under his skin, despite no obvious connection with the place. I joined Percy Main as an outsider in 2009, having watched them for a couple of years, because I was honoured to be asked. I will never leave. Why not come and visit us to see what life is like below the glitz and paparazzi of Ryton against Synners? Even better, why don’t you follow the trail blazed by the Hudson Brothers and help organise a Northern Alliance Day? I’ll assist….

http://www.percymainafc.co.uk/

(This also appeared in a slightly different form under the tile "Home Comforts" in the Percy Main v Carlisle City programme on April 9th 2011)

Elsewhere in today’s programme, there is an article taken from the “Gannin Away” blog written by Andy Hudson about his trip to see Percy Main beat Ponteland 1-0 in the NFA Senior Benevolent Bowl. This was written a couple of months after his brother Michael wrote a similar piece for his blog “The Accidental Groundhopper” about our Challenge Cup win over Carlisle back in September. I like the Hudson Brothers; they watch amateur football and they drink Real Ale. They are my kind of fellas and they’ve organised the inaugural Northern League Day that is taking place elsewhere in the region today. Whilst I will be in the company of the Hudson Brothers (who appear to be named after the kind of posse that would have gone searching for Billy The Kid) this evening, drinking fine hand pulled beers in a number of establishments in the Ouseburn Valley, I will not be present at either of the football matches they’ve identified as places to call in on during that day; neither Whickham v Washington at 11.30, nor Ryton v Billingham Synthonia at 3pm, nor even the chance to quality test brews at The Boathouse in Wylam (named Northumberland’s best pub by CAMRA in 2010) will keep me from Purvis Park and our clash with Carlisle City.

Several times in my life, I’ve found myself as close to nirvana as a man could hope to be. Suffice to say, if I could watch Teenage Fanclub playing a greatest hits set, supported by The Wedding Present and Trembling Bells, while imbibing the Bass they sell in The Tynemouth Lodge or a 2008 Yellowtail Pinot Grigio, with Laura’s Thai Green Curry to follow up, I’d die a happy man. If those events could take place at Purvis Park after a comprehensive home win by Percy Main, I’d go to my grave in a state of ecstatic peace.

Obviously, I’ve been in love with the amateur game in the local area for nigh on two decades, yet to me, the Northern League is not the chance for a bit of rough away from the Premiership pretty boys, it is a whiff of almost unimaginable glamour; £6 in, floodlights, proper seats, annual trips to Wembley and replica shirts. We don’t get any of those things in the Alliance. Instead there are 48 clubs in three divisions, from Alnwick to Murton and Cullercoats to Hexham, with every player, committee member and fan grafting like hell to keep teams going in the face of mounting costs, minimal receipts and rapacious clubs from higher in the pyramid poaching promising players.

On a typical Saturday, I’ll arrive at Purvis Park around 1pm after playing in Over 40s league in the morning. Most of the rest of the committee have been there since noon. During the course of a match day I’ll collect gate money, serve in the canteen, take down the posts at full time, sweep the dressing rooms, help prepare the post match buffet and various other tasks, before heading home around 6pm to write up the match report. Why do I do it? Because I love Percy Main Amateurs. Here is a football club that appreciates what I do for it and gives me back a million times more than I put in.

I hate Niall Quinn, but I understand what he means when he says the Mackems got under his skin, despite no obvious connection with the place. I joined Percy Main as an outsider in 2009, having watched them for a couple of years, because I was honoured to be asked. I will never leave. I would love some of those who are dipping their toe in to non-league football during Northern League Day to come and visit us to see what life is like below the glitz and paparazzi of Ryton against Synners. Even better would be if one of them followed the trail blazed by the Hudson Brothers and helped organise a Northern Alliance Day? I’d assist in any way that I could.

Howyis?

(First published in Percy Main v Walker Central programme April 6th 2011)

Well, the business end of the season is well and truly with us as the visit of Walker Central is the first of an eye watering 10 league games in April. While the Northern League continues to beat its breast and howl over the thought of playing games beyond the end of April, at least the Alliance allows us to play until the last Saturday in May. Of course, that’s not the end of the season for me. I fly out to Dublin on Monday 30th May with the intention of taking in the Tallaght Corinthians versus Ex-Big Club at the Halting Site, as well as Hunky Dorys v Seagulls, or Shamrock Rovers v Bohemians and Drogheda v Bray Wanderers to the uninitiated, before flying home in time for the Percy Main end of season do in the Cricket Club on the Saturday night.

The Irish season kicked off in early March and, as expected, the Premier Division is seeing the appalling Shamrock Rovers walking away with things, while averaging an excellent 6,000 for home games. After 5 games, they’re 4 points clear of a surprisingly resilient Bohemians, who despite near bankruptcy and the repeated rumours of the imminent departure of manager Pat Fenlon, are hanging on in there. At the bottom Drogheda United seem more likely than even the equally impecunious Galway United to become detached from the rest. New manager Mick Cooke arrived from Monaghan to replace Bobby Browne, who walked out in pre-season, stating it was “My Prerogative” to do so. Anyway….

In D1, things are as fascinating as ever, really. As ever, no team seems head and shoulders above the rest. Shelboune and Cork City have the best crowds and JP McManus is bankrolling Limerick (a city that regards football as the 5th choice sport after horses, GAA, rugby and knife crime), but Monaghan seem the most interesting with quintessential Dub gobshite Roddy Collins, famous for being Ireland’s best dressed man in his trademark Louis Copeland tin of fruit and nearly bankrupting Carlisle when he led them down to the Conference, in the hot seat. At least it keeps him off de telly. Longford (aka De Town) have signed former Newcastle gambling addict Keith Gillespie, for how long we shall see. Crowds as ever remain a problem, as a contributor to the excellent www.foot.ie pointed out when discussing a game which, admittedly did coincide with Ireland trouncing England at rugby;

“I counted 47 at Salthill v Athlone tonight, which is astonishing because there were more cars in the car park than people at the game. One guy kept moving so that figure could easily be 46 or 48. There were probably more people in the Clubhouse talking about the rugby match than there were watching the game on the rain sodden pitch. About 20 die hards from Athlone who cheered their late equaliser like 80,000 in Camp Nou seeing Messi stick in the winner past Real Madrid.”

Away from the league, two cup competitions are making progress. The cross border Setanta Shield, which attracted 50 to see UCD 0 Lisburn Distillery 0 in the opening game, is at the semi-final stage. Sligo Rovers are paired with Shamrock Rovers as the two top teams slug it out, while Dundalk meet Cliftonville, the North’s only representative, in a tie that could be for the unofficial Dissident Republican Cup!! The semis are on 4 & 18th April, with the final on 14th May in Belfast. Or not, depending on who’s in it.

Meanwhile the EA Sports League Cup is at the last 16 stage, in 4 supposedly regional groups decided on which side of the Liffey a side is from, meaning Shelbourne and Monaghan are in Group A and UCD and Wexford in Group C. Typically this will be the second round, after 2 preliminary ties (including De Town 2 De Udder Town 1) and 9 round 1 games. As it is the League Cup and Ireland only has 21 league teams, 6 non-league sides were invited to guest to make it seem as much of a proposition by Fibonacci as a sporting contest. Fanad United, FC Carlow, Cobh Ramblers, Dynamo Tralee and the Kerry League Select all bowed out gracefully, while Donegal’s Cockhill Celtic humiliated a Galway United side who’d won away to Bohemians a few days earlier, to earn a home game against holders Sligo. Games played on Easter Monday. I’ll continue to keep you updated on things, but remember every Friday in April sees a live game at www.rte.ie with Derry v Dundalk on this Friday. I’ll be watching.