For many, many
years, The Fall used to be my favourite band in the world, ever, of all time.
From the first time I’d heard them in late 1978, when my cousin John played me “It’s The New Thing,” their second
single, right through to a shambolic, non-performance at the Sage in October
2004, I spent over 25 years in love with the band. I bought every single
release of theirs, attended every gig I could and proselytised them in print.
These days, of course, I realise Teenage Fanclub are the best band in the world
and The Wedding Present are the second best. However, back in November last
year, The Fall played Newcastle and I took my son Ben to see them. I think he was expecting to hear “Winter,”
“Touch Sensitive” and “Theme From Sparta FC.” He didn’t. What happened was The
Fall (MES in particular I mean) finally showed up 45 minutes late and played an
hour’s set in which I recognised 4 songs (“Strychnine,” “Psykick Dancehall,”
“Printhead” and “White Lightning”), but they were really rather tremendous. MES
looks as well as ever (cough!) and the bairn drunkenly told me it was one of
the best gigs he’d ever been to. Of course this was before we went to see Neil
Young, which he claimed has changed his life; and that made me think of a
similar night over 30 years ago.
Wise-ass American
film critics probably would call it a 'rite of passage'. We linguistically
sober Brits would refer to it as all part of growing up! I'm talking about my
first ever Fall gig. It happened on 28 June 1980, 14 years and 364 days before
my son was born, at the Newcastle New Tyne Theatre. Tickets cost £2.00 and beer
was 43p a pint. I was a month away from my 16th birthday and was on something
of a high, having just completed my O Levels and secured an enticing job in an
electrical components factory. This particular night was a Saturday and I was
still coming to terms with having £25 to spend in my pocket.
The gig was being
promoted by a wonderful organisation called Anti Pop that had done the Au Pairs
and Delta 5 the week before and, wait for it, Pink Military Stand Alone
(remember them?) the previous night. The New Tyne Theatre was not new at all,
but an aged musical hall that had done time as the Stoll 'erotic' cinema before
lying dormant, like its former customers presumably, for many years. It's still
doing service as a theatre and infrequent musical venue; in fact, I’m off to
see Christy Moore there in October. The best thing about the New Tyne was that
all the seating was as it had been; so me and about 10 mates (we styled
ourselves as FPX; the Felling Punks) commandeered one of the Royal Boxes,
complete with velvet drapes and opera glasses, in order to get a better view.
First on were local
band Flesh, both of whom worked in the local Virgin Records store and were
absolute shite. They released a record once: a cover of 'My Boy Lollipop' in
the manner of Suicide. This 33 years ago, remember. Next to read the boards
were Clicks, a band memorable only for having ex-Penetration guitarist Garry
Chaplin as leader; they had played one gig the previous April as Iron Curtain
and used Munch's 'The Scream' for their posters and t-shirts; Joy Division
crossed with the Velvets. I friended Gary on Facebook last year and reminded
him of the gig; he described it as an “unpalatable” experience. Perhaps this
doesn't seem to be much of a night to remember so far but Cabaret Voltaire, in
their atonal electric Dadaist phase, were on immediately before The Fall and
achieved an enormously polarised reaction. I thought they were brilliant; the
rest of the audience bombarded them with glasses, jeers and phlegm. To be truly
innovative, you must be prepared to endure the opprobrium of those less
tolerant than yourself I mused, and then went for a pint.
When The Fall hit
the stage, I had the horns of a dilemma to sit on; should I remain in the Royal
Box with a perfect view, or should I venture to the front in search of a better
atmosphere? There was no problem with sound quality, it was diabolical
everywhere, but it was important for me to find the right spot to spend the
second most important night of my life thus far. Downstairs, I discovered the
closest I could get to the stage was about 50 feet away. Contrast this with The
Fall's next appearance at Newcastle in October 1981, when I spent the gig sat
on the stage at the dismally naff Hofbrauhaus Bierkellar; this was in the days
when finding a place for non-mainstream bands to play was almost impossible.
The reason for
being kept at a distance was the roped off orchestra pit area that hailed back
to the theatre’s Music Hall days. Faced with this huge gap, I returned back
upstairs. Sadly, unlike Royal Variety Command performances, all performers and
audience didn't turn to applaud us and throw red roses at the end.
Years later, I
sourced a bootleg of the gig from a Fall website and listening to it again,
what strikes me is just how long a gig it was. This digitised version of
recording made on a smuggled mono cassette recorder reinforced fading memories
of how wonderful 'Impression of J. Temperance' and 'New Puritan' sounded Perhaps it was the waft of Evo-Stik from the
UK Subs fans in the bogs or just the sheer excitement I felt, who knows? It
certainly affected my mental equilibrium, because most of the evening passed in
a blur. As was their wont at the time, The Fall slipped in eight unreleased
songs out of a 16-song set. I spent a lot of time inventing possible titles for
the newies, such as, and how I cringe now, “Totally Wild.”
The only downer was
at the end. As the gig would finish after the last bus and I hadn't a clue
about taxis at that age, my dad had arranged to pick me up. Horror upon horror
for me and my cousin, as my dad and uncle were waiting directly outside and proceeded
to drone on for the 15-minute journey home about how dreadful punk fashions
were and how the music is just noise. I’m an older man now than they were then
and I rest contented knowing I can still appreciate Godspeed You! Black
Emperor, even if my son thinks the Quebecois nonet are just an awful racket.
The Fall’s set at Newcastle New Tyne
Theatre, 28.06.80
The N.W.R.A. / 2nd
Dark Age / Impression of J. Temperance / City Hobgoblins / Totally Wired/
Muzorewi's Daughter / Fiery Jack / Gramme Friday / Printhead / English Scheme /
New Face in Hell / Choc-Stock / Diceman / New Puritan
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